i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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