I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
why do cheetos always look like penises
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
