I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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