normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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