somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
