Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
