Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
