a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
