They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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