I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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