why didn't you poke me back
Your dad touched me again.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
