i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
