chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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