North Korea, Best Korea!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize