I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
