It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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