Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
