Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize