Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
