i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
