I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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