I must be too annoying 4 u.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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