I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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