i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
