wanna go halves on a baby?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
