they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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