Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
