So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
