idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
