What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
