nut hugger
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
