Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i now understand why vodka
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
