are you so shy because you have an std?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
