I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This is classic penis vs brain.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
