I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
