Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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