you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
