nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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