The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
