Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
either way he was missing a nipple.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
