please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
