If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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