at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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