If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
