Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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