doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
