I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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