So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
