I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
All the doctor said was why
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
