haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
