god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
