He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
