I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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