Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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