You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
