Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
