to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
