she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Still dying that you shit outside
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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