It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
