im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
