you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
