drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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