That's intense
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
