I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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